Blogging on the Powwow

Dear Murray: You left this world four years ago tomorrow. I miss you. I think of you every day. Each year since your departure, I have chronicled another year without you (your initial departure in 2016 , and then in years 2017 , 2018 , and 2019 ) and this year is no exception. I have noted many times that I adored you, that you shaped my career in ways that were unimaginable for me when I met you, that you were, and still are, my foundation for social science research, my role model for collaborating with others, and that every day I aspire to your optimism, warm spirit, dedication, curiosity, and generous nature. And, every day I am reminded of you, in small ways, in big ways, and in all ways, in between. Recently, my administrative assistant didn’t have quite enough tasks to keep her busy. She asked me for more work several times. Just this week, I decided to give her some tasks -- for when she has down time -- that would help me with some analyses I’m about to underta...

I am remembering Murray this week, three years after his DOD. I think that I will always associate the end of an academic year with the time that we lost Murray. We knew that he was suffering and that he didn't have much time left. I was grading late into the night, feeling the pressure of what I call "the season of extremes" in academia. I had gotten little sleep when I heard from Murray's assistant: a text alert on my phone and then a phone call to let me know that Murray had passed away. I'm not able to visit his grave to mark the anniversary this year, instead I'm in the Caribbean. Murray would approve. He loved travel. I have my computer so that I can put out some fires at work and maybe submit that paper that I have in queue. Yes, Murray would approve of this, too. So, this week, I am holding close some of my favorite memories of Murray... Sitting with him at the long table in his office, hearing him talk about work and life Watching his enthusia...

Last week was busy: some last minute requests at work, family visits, car breakdown in Maine, a 20-mile run, and on and on. In the midst of these activities, I learned that the Maine Government Oversight Committee was holding a public comment session about two tragic child abuse deaths in Maine - Kendell Chick and Marissa Kennedy . Both girls and their families were known to the state's child protective services. This is where I come in. One of my main areas of expertise is children who die from abuse or neglect and the child welfare workforce. What a thing to specialize in, right?  I know. Trust me. It's not something that you want to open with at a dinner party. It's best to be vague and say that I study "family violence" or the "child welfare system." That said, I once did have someone on an airplane offer to illustrate the book that I was writing on child maltreatment deaths. He was joking. And, I thought that I made dark jokes.  Anyway, enough...

Today is the two-year anniversary of Murray's death. It's the official day to pay tribute to him, to remember all the good that he did in the world. To remember how many children and adults live without or with less violence in their lives because Murray was curious and he followed the story that the data that he collected had to tell. It's the day to pay tribute to this wonderful human being: mentor, colleague, friend, social scientist, teacher, supporter, innovator, and endless optimist. A man who saw the silver lining when many others couldn't see any lining at all.  A scientist who took endless risks with his career. A man of morals and high standards. As I penned in my 2016 tribute to Murray, a man who "was engaged, enthusiastic, and totally committed to life every day, even at the end." Today's the day that the world lost Murray; that his family, friends, and colleagues lost him. Today's the day that I lost Murray: mentor and colleague, turne...

I haven't blogged in a long time. Actually, a very long time. Last year when I was in Washington, I managed to pretty much blog every week about all of the new experiences that I was having in the U.S. Senate, being a Congressional fellow, living in Washington, D.C., and living away from home. I even blogged when I was on the fence about my blogging, slightly worried that someone in my Congressional office would find out and tell me to stop, even though I used a lot of discretion. It's true that I had to be careful, but somehow, I managed to walk that line.  I'm having a similar experience this year. I returned to academia, but in a  new role , at a new school. Everything is new. Sure, I've been an academic in one form or another for 15 years, so I'm pretty comfortable with that identity and I know what goes on in academia, unlike when I entered Congress. Still, a lot of stuff is pretty new. Like I said to a colleague this week, "It's the same, but tot...

On Monday night I made my last trip home from Bridgewater State University. Oh, sure. I assume that I’ll be back at some point. But, this was my final drive home as a member of the faculty. And now, I’m a former member of the faculty. The name comes off the mailboxes. It was about this time of year in 2006 that Neil and I rented a U-Haul and drove my belongings down to Bridgewater, where I started as a new assistant professor on the tenure-track. Since we still lived in southern Maine, 120 miles from Bridgewater, I had rented a cottage in the area so that I would have somewhere to stay overnight near campus. Thus, the U-Haul had my office belongings, as well as items for the garage-converted cottage. It was incredibly hot that day, as I recall – about 100°. My step-daughter, Dorothy, was a teenager and she was home sick from her job at Funtown , with a fever. This was in the days before we had cell phones, so we didn’t know she was sick until we arrived home late that night. ...

For those of us who knew and loved Murray Straus, we have made it through a year without him. This past Saturday was the one year mark of his death. Last year I wrote about Murray, his generosity, curiosity, warmth, and all of the ways that I benefited from knowing him. I also wrote how much I adored Murray and how going to Durham without him there would never, ever, be the same. True, that. The events leading up to this date last year have been on my mind: having lunch with Murray weekly during the last year of his life and my daily phone calls to his administrative assistant to see if she had news on his whereabouts, his well-being, and his schedule. She was such a source of support to me. In my office at my own university, I kept her number and Murray's number next to my desk phone for easy reference. This year while I am in Washington a colleague is using my office. I left a little sticky note asking this colleague not to remove the orange piece of paper next to my phone w...

When I first started my Congressional fellowship, Congress was in recess... a lot.  It was late September and we were moving into the final weeks before a major election. Then there was the post-election season. In truth, I think that between late September and the December holiday break, Congress was in session about three weeks. It wasn't until January that I really got a sense of how different things work when Congress is in session versus recess. The Senate and the House follow similar schedules for being in session or recess. As readers can see, Congress has been in session most of the time since January. It's stacked as a very full schedule. Two weeks away from Washington in April, but then pretty busy until August. Even when members of Congress are away from Washington, they maintain an incredibly demanding schedule, especially for a group of people, who on average, are nearing traditional retirement age . But, back to recess. It's recess and from what I can tel...

I'm back in Washington. Despite the frigid weather, I had a wonderful trip home, with many lessons learned. Never Underestimate When Being a Runner will Come in Handy Last Friday, I was on a flight that arrived at Logan Airport in Boston at 5:03pm. It was my goal to make the 5:10 C&J bus that would bring me to the Newburyport bus station, which is just five or so miles from my house. In theory, the bus arrives  at the airport at 5:10, but then starts making the rounds to each terminal, A, B1, B2, C, etc. As long as one does not fly into terminal A, one can count on a small cushion to catch the bus. I did some trotting inside the airport, because I knew it would be close. When I neared the exits I saw that it was 5:14...not likely that I would make the bus since I was in terminal B1. I got outside and hurried in the direction toward the C&J stop. Then I saw the coming toward me. I tried to flag it down, but failed. I felt defeated. Then a man who had witnessed my eff...

For fourteen years, I adored Murray Straus more than I can imagine adoring anyone. I met Murray in the summer of 2002 when I attended the biannual International Family Violence/Child Victimization Research Conference . His research center, the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire  in Durham, NH, had an opening for a new PhD to assume a research position. A "post-doc" position is primarily for newly-minted PhDs, to gain additional, intense training in a specific field of study. In this instance, it was family violence. Having obtained my PhD only one month before, I attended the "Straus Breakfast" one morning and then seized the opportunity to ask about the position. I didn't really know how famous Murray was in the world of family violence, just that he was an important figure. I interviewed on the spot. I started work as his post-doc on October 7, 2002. I was 29 and at the very beginning of a career that felt like it was going nowher...